Saturday April 18th

The day after Toni’s benefit concert we raised $9,000 it was a beautiful night! Full of love , support , community and purpose!

Honestly the day after I’m an emotional mess. Good feelings but also a sense of I feel bad for my family specifically my husband who dedicates and sacrifices sooo much for me and The Vault when he has a whole high school football team he’s driving back and forth to Orem for during my concert craziness, losing sleep and trying to support his wife and be there for his team and in the mix dealing with parent drama that he’s a “bad coach” ! So I feel a sense of guilt and sadness for him for all he does and people just don’t appreciate him on that end. He is amazing I’m blessed to have him at my side.

Feelings of I need to quit and dedicate that time and energy into staying in Utah county starting a life and giving it to my children where tthey need me.

Also these concerts leave me really missing my dad….

As I picked up Maze and Tazz this morning feom my sweet mother in-laws House because she helps us out so we can clean up the show till the end.

Maze ask me on the drive home….

“Mom, how did your dad die?”

Well with all the emotions I lose it

I can’t fight back the tears and I can only get out “his heart was sick”

Tears streaming down my face that I can’t help Maze asks

“Mom are you crying?”

I say “yes I just really miss my dad”

Silence

Maze finally replies “your dad is with you”

Of course I’m

Bawling at this point

Maze says “he’s always with you”

So grateful for Maze and his sweet spirit and reminding me that he is with me, he’s aware and she loves me❤️

Thank you Maze.

Mom loves you.